(Poem accompanying Freedom and Shit Happens)
2006. I went to my first ICSA conference.
I presented a painting, neat and pretty.
I myself was neat and pretty.
The painting was called Freedom
What a pretty word.
2015. I went to my second ICSA conference.
I was mad: at the world, at my parents.
All the pain had broken loose.
A wave that was brutal.
I was able to feel again.
This is my painting now.
This is me now. Full of the past.
Full of the present.
With a future.
(The painting is now titled Shit Happens)
Poem accompanying Disappearing Mother)
“I am” is not wanted
Katharina Meredith grew up in the Lichtoase, a small, new-age cult in Germany. From ages 10 through 20, she watched her parents act like strangers and remain quiet as abuse happened; and she felt invisible to them. Later in life, she had trouble connecting with her own daughter; the fear of the past created a glass wall, allowing neither negative nor positive feelings to flow freely. Smashing that wall has been her hardest and grandest achievement to date. Katharina also created the website mindcontrolandcults.com, with a large focus on recovery for second-generation adults (SGAs—people born or raised in cults), and she blogs on strongerafter.com She is a Web designer, artist, and photographer. Her work has been included in the Phoenix Project at ICSA annual conferences and can be seen at katharinameredith.com