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Grandparents’ Rights: What Every Grandparent Needs to Know
Patricia Perkins Slorah
1st Books Library, 2003, ISBN: 1-4107-6628-4 (e-book), ISBN: 1-4107-6627-6
(paperback).
Reviewed by
Robin Boyle,
Esq.
Patricia Perkins Slorah, has written an easy-to- read book
for grandparents who are considering assistance from the legal community to
secure visitation with their grandchildren. The book is aptly titled,
Grandparents’ Rights: What Every Grandparent Needs to Know. For
grandparents who are unfamiliar with the court system, Ms. Slorah provides
helpful guidance. Although any book about the current state of the laws would be
outdated at some point in the future as to what certain laws provide, this book
provides timeless personal stories of grandparents who have struggled to gain
visitation rights with their grandchildren.
For readers who are not grandparents, the book is an
eye-opener about a growing societal problem – neglectful parents, abusive
parents, or a parent who has lost a spouse and then turns his or her back on the
children’s grandparents. In several of the vignettes, grandparents became
caregivers for their grandchildren and then sought legal visitation rights when
their relationships with the parents became estranged, or when other problems
surfaced such as divorcing parents, substance abuse, or death of a parent. State
by state, legislatures are enacting laws for grandparents to have legal grounds
for visitations with their grandchildren. At the heart of these laws is
recognition on the part of legislatures that when dysfunction occurs in
immediate family units, one solution may be to provide grandparents with rights
to see their grandchildren.
The author tells the personal stories from the point of
view of the caring and unappreciated grandparent. For instance, “As a member of
the grandparent generation, I now believe we misled our daughters. We told them
that because of new attitudes toward women, they could ‘have it all.’ We
neglected to tell them they could not ‘have it all at once.’” (page 4). An
undercurrent throughout the book is that the parents are depicted as
cold-hearted towards the grandparents’ desires, neglectful of their children’s
need for basic necessities, or outright abusive. The author also briefly
mentions instances of sexual abuse and physical abuse of children by their
parents. Readers may be initially put-off by the one-sidedness of the
point-of-view. For example, in describing a grandparent support group, Ms.
Slorah writes: “[G]randparents told how their daughter or in-law would leave
their grandbaby with ‘just anybody’ so she could go out and party.” (page 41)
Nevertheless, readers will eventually forgive the author when focusing on the
book’s purpose.
“Grandparents’ Rights” would be a useful book for
grandparents who seek visitation rights with children of cult members. But
there are hurdles for grandparents in achieving visitation rights with
grandchildren in or out of cults. For example, in New York, the law, Domestic
Relations Law section 72, currently provides that the courts first examine
whether the grandparents have standing. To establish standing, the grandparent
can petition for visitation when there has been a death of the child’s parent or
“where circumstances show that conditions exist which equity would see fit to
intervene.” If standing is found, then the second inquiry that the courts must
conduct is whether visitation is in “the best interest of the child.”
For grandparents looking for answers, “Grandparents’
Rights” provides readers with motivation, at the very least. The author
describes how she took her family matters to court, testified in Congress,
lobbied her state legislature, and took her story to the media. She also
provided advice to those seeking it, and it sounds like her phone rang
constantly. With that kind of determination described in this book, any reader
would be inspired.
As in all legal matters, the author advises her readers to
seek the advice of an attorney before attempting to “obtain[...] any rights
through the court system” (p 119). Nevertheless, for those who cannot afford
an attorney, she suggests appearing without one – “pro se” – if your state
permits. The author describes in the appendix of the book the procedures in
Florida for obtaining visitation. She also provides tips in the final chapter
called, “Twelve Ways to Win.”
Acknowledgement
The reviewer thanks law student Teri Ann Puliafico for her
research assistance.
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