An Open Letter to Clergy

An Open Letter to Clergy Regarding Helping Former Members of Abusive

Carol Giambalvo

As both the Director of Recovery Programs for the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) and a cofounder of reFOCUS, a support and referral network for former members of closed, intense organizations or relationships, I’ve had inquiries from clergy about how to help former members when they come to them. I’ve also had remarks from former members that clergy don’t seem to know how to help them. As a former member myself, I’ve had my own personal struggles addressing spiritual and religious issues. Hopefully I can give you some useful information and suggestions.

First, some background information. People don’t join cults. They are deceived and purposefully recruited. The majority are in some sort of normal human transition stage in life, such as leaving high school for college, leaving college for the “real world,” experiencing the breakup of a relationship or marriage, losing a job, moving to a new location, retiring. And along comes a group of what seem like the most wonderful people from the most wonderful group with the most wonderful goals who show them love, acceptance, and a “higher purpose.” Many people have the mistaken idea that only troubled people from troubled families get involved in these groups. Cults don’t want troubled people. They want bright, dedicated, idealistic, energetic people to raise money, do the work of the group, and recruit new people.

So how do you help former members? Here are some suggestions:

What Are the Recovery Issues Facing Former Members?

1.  Identity Crisis

Who am I now? For those born/raised in high-demand groups, who am I?

What do I believe?

2.  Feelings of being disconnected; a sense of purposelessness 

3.  Grief

For the people I left behind

Loss of a cause

Loss of “belonging”

Loss of what I had to give up in order to join group

Loss of innocence

Loss of career goals; finances; belongings

Missing the “buzz”; looking for it elsewhere


4.  Boundary issues

Rebuilding healthy boundaries—creating a safe place to heal

Learning it’s okay not to divulge everything to everyone

Learning how the group tore down the boundaries between other group members/leaders and me

Learning how the group built up unhealthy boundaries between the outside world and me

5.  Trust issues

Testing the waters, building up a relationship before I trust someone—developing healthy boundaries

6.  “Magical thinking” of cultic group, spiritualizing everything

7.  Varying symptoms of post traumatic stress

Panic attacks



Sleep disorders

Inability to make decisions

Inability to concentrate

Fears not grounded in reality—fear the group was “right” when they told me something bad would happen to me if I left


8.  Difficulty with relationships and authority figures 

9.  Underemployment 


ICSA Today, 3.2, 2012

International Cultic Studies Association 

reFOCUS  (many articles on recovery)

Recovery workshops 

Books: Take Back Your Life by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias, Bay Tree Publishing, 

About the Author

Carol Giambalvo is a cofounder of reFOCUS, a national support network for former cult members. She is on ICSA’s Board of Directors, is Director of ICSA’s recovery programs, and is responsible for its Project Outreach. She is author of Exit Counseling: A Family Intervention, co-editor of The Boston Movement: Critical Perspectives on the International Churches of Christ, and co-author of “Ethical Standards for Thought Reform Consultants.” She received ICSA’s 2008 Margaret T. Singer Award.